I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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