id be glad to
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
