I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
