How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
