I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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