so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
