the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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