new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
