I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize