I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
