i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
