went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize