I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
