I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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