I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
