So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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