Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
