Jerry, you need to find god
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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