I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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