I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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