Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
