I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
