He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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