my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She's just so happy...and so naked.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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