I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
