I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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