so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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