How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
