last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
