Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
