No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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