kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
