i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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