The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
