i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
