So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
