i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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