how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Where is the hickey?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
