Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
