i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
