My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
