I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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