that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
third nipple confirmed
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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