With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
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