think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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