just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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