Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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