i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
