come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And then my night got REAL pukey
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
