Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
