Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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