I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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