I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
