yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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