this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
