How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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