I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize