you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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