Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
