i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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