i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
