So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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