so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
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I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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