It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize