He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
