oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
