You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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